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[assassinrue]

Phillip shook his head and pulled back. "No, I'm not really sure you do, Olivia. You want something, obviously, there's a hole in you, but you need figure that out."

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

Olivia groaned. "You're seriously pushing me away now?" She ached to just lose herself in him like so many times before. He'd never fought her before.

[assassinrue]

"How much longer am I supposed to keep grasping at a woman who vanishes like smoke when she's done in my bed?!" He was nearly shouting now, his body tensed. "How much longer should I survive all of the pretending I do, just to justify being around you? I can't go on begging for you when you don't actually have a da** clue what you want! I refuse to keep trying to make this one way trail a two way highway. I'll wait. But i'm done trying."

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

Olivia took a small step back from him and let out a shuddering breath. "I know what I want. I just don't know... how to get it. How to keep it. I'm scared."

[assassinrue]

Phillip pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. "Fine. Tell me what you want and why you're so scared."

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

"I want you!" Olivia said, so frustrated the words came out as a snap. "But I'm afraid of losing you, of losing myself. I don't want to be forever tied to another person. I don't want to depend on anyone but me. What if you leave or... or..." She trailed off helplessly. Helpless; not a word usually used to describe her.

[assassinrue]

Phillip looked at her. "You can be independent in a relationship while still forming the dependency that ought to exist. It's about balance, Live, it's not about losing yourself."

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

She shook her head slowly. "Show me. Show me, Phil. I... I need to know what it's like to trust. To love."

[assassinrue]

Phillip shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "Why me?"

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

"Because I can't stop thinking about you," Olivia admitted. "I want to be near you and talk to you and hear you laugh. I want to wake up next to you in the morning. Maybe I don't know how to love, but I think you're the closest I've ever gotten."

[assassinrue]

Phillip sighed and fell into a chair unceremoniously. "Maybe we can try this. But if and when we do, we've got to establish ground rules."

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

Olivia stood still, watching him wearily. "What ground rules?"

[assassinrue]

"Intimacy ground rules, I refuse to fall even more in love with you if you can never feel the same. I quite literally could not live with that." He looked at her then, his eyes dark and insistent.

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

Olivia gave him a sad, almost wistful smile. "I think I already do, Phil. It's just... locked away."

[assassinrue]

"I hope for both our sakes you can unlock it."

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

Olivia watched him sadly. He sounded so guarded. She'd never heard him like this before, and now she wished she could take it all back.

[assassinrue]

Phillip finished gathering the things from the meeting and began to wash the very few dishes in his sink, if only to do something with his hands.

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

Olivia silently started helping him finishing cleaning up. When it was all done, she took a deep breath. "I think I should go home."

[assassinrue]

Phillip stared at her a long second. "No, come here. You don't get to disappear all the time either. I was about to start a roast. Stay for dinner."

[ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟғʀᴏsᴛ]

"A roast?" Olivia repeated. That seemed odd, seeing as he would be eating alone had she not been there. It was a lot of food for one man. Then again, he was a man, young if not youthful, and active. Maybe not too much for him to handle in a meal or two.