тнe αrт oғ lιvιɴɢ well αɴd тнe αrт oғ dyιɴɢ well αre oɴe ♥

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

"Be quiet, you're hurting my head. Yes, I'm going to stay and talk, but I'd like to be able to get home before it's too late. Do you know how hard it is to hail a cab at night?" Yes, saying 'home' when it wasn't directed to this apartment, that he was now looking around at, was painful, but he kept the expression clear from his face, and tried to clear it from his heart. His blue gaze focused back on the male. "I'm heading home. Montana."

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

"You're just going to abandon us, Sky? Me? Leo? I really thought you'd think this over thoroughly before you made a decision," Ross kept his voice level, "We're married, Sky. We said vows. I love you and I don't understand why you're choosing now to up and leave."

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

He looked at him with an apologetic expression. "There are things, Ross, that you just don't understand, and you won't be able to. The… thing that had fallen in love with you is no longer here." In his mind, he went back to the medication that he had thrown in the trash along with everything else. The medication that he had taken today would wear off in a few hours, and he didn't want anyone he loved to be around when that psychotic beast came out.

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

"You're not a thing, though!" His voice had taken a desperate tone, "Please, Sky, I'll understand if you just explain things instead of shutting yourself off like you do all the time."

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

"Then it shouldn't come as any surprise that it's happening again." He had a vaguely amused expression on his face while looking at Ross.

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

"Nothing about this is funny," Ross told him, his face completely serious. He shook his head, "I won't just sit by and let this happen. I can't accept an explanation as vague as you're giving. It's not fair and it's not right."

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

"My valid reason isn't something that I feel comfortable sharing. I didn't tell you when we were dating, and I can't tell you now."

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

"Not knowing is worse than knowing," Ross clenched his jaw, "What am I supposed to do without you here? What will I tell Leo? He is already so enamored with you- you are his mother, as far as he sees. He won't understand why you'd leave."

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

"I'm suffering from stage three schizophrenia and stage two disassociate identity disorder. Have my entire life. My body is split into two different beings- the one that you married, and the one that you… didn't." His eyes were hard as he watched him. It was difficult to state it out loud, to someone he loved. It made him a monster.

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

Ross tilted his head slightly, looking perplexed, "Okay- so how have you been able to keep that a secret for so long?"

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

"Medication. Leaving in the middle of the night when the attacks are too strong."

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

Ross rubbed his face, "Well, why haven't you ever told me?"

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

"Because I wasn't comfortable with it."

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

"It's not like I was just going to leave you if I found out," He sighed.

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

He had a suspicious look on his face. "Oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow.

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

"You really don't give me enough credit, Sky," Ross sounded exasperated, "I'm not that shallow."

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

He sighed and plopped on the couch, over the back, and lay there silently, feeling exhausted. Ten minutes until the medication wore off. He could feel it. Like a drain.

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

Ross ran a hand through his hair, "I'm not just going to walk away, you know. I fell in love with you- it's not easy to just up and go."

[∂яινє му ωσℓƒ ωιℓ∂ ♥]

"I know." He murmured tiredly. "You're not the only one who loves in this relationship, you know. I love you too. It's just... hard." He murmured with a sigh, body seeming to be pressed against the couch by some unseen pressure. "It's hard being someone you're not all the time. It's not me."

[нαℓƒ~мσση]

"It's hard, but even so I won't give up on you. On us," He shook his head, "It would be disgraceful if I did."