the [t r a g e d y] of being [a f r a i d] of the LIGHT.

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When the door opened, Colden flashed a sheepish little smile, "Hey. Mind if I come in and just hang out with you for a while? I don't really feel like sleeping right now."

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"Um, sure." Alexander nibbled on his lower lip as he stepped aside and opened the door wider. "I probably won't be very entertaining company, but... If it makes you feel better..." he shrugged.

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Cole chuckled as he walked on inside and plopped down on Alexander's bed, "I've never complained about your company before, have I?" He stretched out comfortably, having been used to being around his parabatai. The familiarity was comforting to him.

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He scratched the back of his head. "Well, no." He murmured, a blush on his cheekbones though he was thankful it was dark. Having Colden on his bed was more than a little awkward for the already strained male. "So, what's got you so worked up?"

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"Everything is just moving so slow," Colden groaned, stuffing his face into the bed, "I know it will take a while to find all the information I need, but /still/."

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Alexander nodded and hesitantly walked over, sitting precariously on the edge of the bed and rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I know, Cole. It's going to take some time. I know you don't like hearing that, but... You have to plan this type of stuff out. You can't just run in and expect the best." He smiled fondly. His parabatai was known for doing that; acting on impulse.

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"That way has always worked for me before," He muttered, much like a child would. Moving his head to the side, he looked up at Alexander, "You've always been the planner, Xander. I'm not that patient."

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"That way has always worked for me before," He muttered, much like a child would. Moving his head to the side, he looked up at Alexander, "You've always been the planner, Xander. I'm not that patient."

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Alexander laughed gently, though it sounded strained. "Well, maybe you should try to be the planner in your own life this time, Cole. You want to find the demons, right? The ones who took your parents away?" He swallowed. He didn't like talking about it just as much as Colden didn't. "You need to create a strategy and plan of escape, just in case things don't... go right."

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"You mean if I die? I don't care about that," Colden closed his blue eyes, "We're Shadowhunters. We die all the time in our work. It's just the way things are. I'm more worried about never finding the demons at all."

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"We die when we can't help ourselves. But you, Colden, can help yourself by not willingly giving up your life in a situation when you can live." Alexander's tone had become stern; a tone that his siblings liked to call 'older-brother mode'. He sighed and stood, walking to the window. "You act like things are never going to change, Cole. They will. You're just not opening yourself up enough to them." He nibbled on his lower lip while staring out at the stars again. Whether he was nervous because he just gave a very subtle confession of feelings or because he was afraid he was going to lose a brother, that wasn't certain. "We'll find them. I'm sure we will. We just need to figure out what we're going to do when we find them. And don't answer that with 'kill them'. I'm smart enough to know that." He wrinkled his nose.

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Colden listened to Alexander's little speech silently, opening his eyes to watch him walk back over to the window. His parabatai always knew what to say, even though he was being slightly scolded by him. It didn't make Cole mad; quite the opposite, really. The blonde Shadowhunter smiled- really smiled, flashing white teeth- and sat up. His hair was a little mussed from when he stuffed his face into the bed, "Thank you, Xander," he murmured to him, the words sounding sincere and genuine, "For not immediately criticizing this idea. Thanks for helping me out."

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Alexander let out a stressed breath and nodded in acknowledgement to the gratitude. Sure, he didn't think the idea was 100% good, but... He couldn't deny the thought that doing this would make his partner happier. And it had been a long time since he had seen Colden truly happy.

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"Come sit over on the bed!" Colden laughed lightly, gesturing for him to come over to him, "I feel like you're a million miles away over there by the window. You should know by now that I don't bite unless you ask me to." He was teasing, of course.

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Alexander smiled slightly, a light blush on his cheekbones though he quickly wiped it away as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Better?"

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Colden smirked and reached over, grabbing Alexander's arm and pulling him closer, "You have been so distant lately," he pouted, even though he knew that Xander was always distant.

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Alexander blinked in surprise, eyes widening at the action though he quickly settled. "And you're surprised by this /why/?" He asked with a soft laugh.

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"Never said I was surprised," Colden grumbled, lips drawing into a slight pout, "Just unhappy about it."

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Alexander's eyebrows raised. "Unhappy about me being distant? You know me, Colden, you should know how I am."

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"Hmph," Colden let go of his arm and flopped back on Xander's pillow, "I know. Maybe I'm just feeling lonely. I don't even know."